Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Alpha Pumpkin and The Humanitarian Movement

For Halloween, Ryan and I bought a pumpkin at a convenient store that was selling these medium-sized, apartment-friendly pumpkins. We named him Alpha because he was clearly superior to the rest in terms of colour, shape and intellect.



Tonight, I attended my first political activist group meeting. It's a group called Humanize Toronto, part of the Humanitarian Movement. From what I understand, they believe in social change that starts from personal improvement, which is something I believe strongly in (consider The Ripple Effect). I met a lot of very interesting people, most of whom are teachers, and we got into discussions about teaching theories and how our society was brought up on the idea that positive reinforcement means that you can get people to do things by giving them tangible encouragement (this may or may not have been the original idea, but it's certainly how our society interprets it). So teachers give out things like stickers and candy to try to encourage kids to do things, but the result is that people are becoming too individualistic and materialistic.

Anyway, it was really neat to meet such likeminded people. I doubt I'll have much time to help them, but I've been meaning to participate in some form of politics, and this seems like a very interesting group to be a part of.

The Business of Sucking Badly

After 5 hours of hair-tearing aggrevation yesterday, I finally produced what will officially be the flyer for the Python/Orgasm Christmas Party 2005. BEHOLD its brutality will hypnotize and nauseate!

See! There's a reason why I'm not streaming creative in school. I fucking suck. But I own my suckiness, I wear it like a giant affro on a proud African-American man. Anticipate its arrival in your e-mails shortly.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I think I'm a bit more normal this time.

Tried to see Wolfparade last night at the Horseshoe, but the show was oversold and there was nary a scalper in sight. Ryan and I still stood outside hopin', but eventually just settled for a drink inside the front. Ryan even remembers seeing the tickets on sale when they were first released, but at the time he wasn't sure if he wanted to see them yet. Who is Wolfparade one may ask? They remind me of Modest Mouse, but that's as far as my musical resources can take me. They're not as hard as MM, though.

Study week is next week - and HALLOWEEN. Maybe I'll make a cool costume during my time off. That would be a neat project! Maybe I'll buy a sewing machine since I've always wanted to learn how to make my own clothes. Hmm...

My down feelings about school have subsided at the moment, and I'm enjoying a relieving wave of much needed calm. Just got an e-mail from my friend Lydia - the first friend I made in high school, and she passed her MCATs which means she'll be eligible for medical school. I can't even find the words to describe how proud of her I am... While I do not see them very often and don't really have much in common with them, my friends from Scarborough are the smartest, dearest friends, and I'm so lucky to know them.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Min-Spotting



This is the poster Datura helped me shoot pics for.



Look what a cute photographer/stylist she is!

Anyway, yeah it's cheese, but i think it's better than doing some collage of my life with baby pictures and shit.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I will follow you into the dark.

The Death Cab for Cutie show we went to see last night was sold out and scalpers were asking for $100 per. It was tempting for a second to make like $160 for the two $20 tickets we got at Rotate This (the best place to buy concert tix btw minus those obscene service charges that TicketMaster likes to charge), but Ryan's a huge Death Cab fan so of course we went in. We missed the opening band because we didn't want to stand around for hours at the Koolhaus between sets getting drunk on $5.50 beers.

It was the fastest show ever - or it felt like it - because despite my opinions about sad bastard music, death cab is a great band both musically and lyrically. The highlight of the evening was definately the first encore number featuring Ben Gibbard solo on his guitar, singing I Will Follow You Into The Dark from their newest album, Plans. This is the guy who also wrote the gorgeous song, Such Great Heights, covered by Iron & Wine on the soundtrack of Garden State (which was how i discovered Postal Service - when will u come to town???). And fuck... the sound of his sweet voice joined by the hundreds of devoted followers in the dark concrete of the koolhaus... you can only imagine:

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark


The past little while, I've gone to see Bloc Party, The Decemberists and Death Cab for Cutie. December 1st, we're going to see Spoon. So far, every single show I've been to have been sold out, and I can't help but wonder if online file sharing has its effect on this. Maybe that's why indie rock has become so popular because indie bands have been distributing music online for years? Record companies are still crying about the drop in CD sales, but what about concert sales? Most people would much rather spend $20 - $50 on a live show than $14 on a CD. Anyway, allz I'm sayin is that the music industry as a whole minus monetary woes has benefited far more from file sharing than loss. Ok I'm done talking shit.

The Jasmin-spotting poster (re: Datura's Garden blog) is almost ready to be posted. I was up til 4:30 a.m. last night working on it.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Ninja Ship



No one I know has ever really heard of The Decemberists, or have listened to The Decemberists, and when they do listen to The Decemberists, they don't really know what's so special about The Decemberists.

The Decemberists played at The Pheonix last night, and it was Special.

Their music is kind of like psychedelic pirate music. And the members are like crazy drama-music teachers from Oregon who makes really cool music. They played everything from the violin, to the accordian, to the upright bass, to the xylophone-type thing that has strings instead (I'm not sure what you call it), to the so on and so forth, they're very musical let's just say.

The reason why I liken them to drama teachers is because their show was extremely theatrical. Colin Meloy, the lead vocalists and guitarist, kept switching between a British and Oregon accent, they were dancing jigs up on stage, and at one point, they sent this guy with two small brass symbols to run around the crowd, jumping up into the air and smashing the symbols together along with the music. Then for the song, The Mariner's Revenge Song, half the people on the floor were instructed to scream at the top of their lungs like we were being swallowed by a whale, the other half had to moan and groan, and the people in the balcony had to make exclamations about Mothers and whales and death. The Pheonix was packed shoulder to shoulder, so imagine all us geeks, freeks and aeroplanes wailing at the top of our lungs. That's not even the best part! For one of their last songs, they got all of us to sit/crouch on the floor and just imagine everyone at the pheonix sitting down all at once, and when the song suddenly picks up, everyone pops back up like jack-in-the-boxes, all together like one giant wave of people.

So I was almost an hour late for class this morning.

I admit, The Decemberists' music isn't my favourite music in the world, but it's GOOD and it has personality and drama. There were a lot of die-hard fans in the crowd who knew all the words, and then there were some like Ryan and I who were really enjoying the experience. Then there were the people who just didn't look like they knew what was going on - like this one chick on the balcony who wouldn't sit her ass down and Colin Meloy refused to start the song til she did. Some people need to learn how to have fun. I had fun, did you?

Friday, October 07, 2005

Sad Bastard

Excerpt from Daily Pages:

The stress is killing me. I always thought I hated school because of outside pressures (like the other students or the teachers), but the truth is: it's all in my head. My desire to only hand in the very best work is driving me insane. And the lack of time and focus I require to achieve my standards is so frusterating. Ryan says that's what a business is like - there's never enough time or resources to do the best job in anything, so everything ends up being half-assed. ...

I'm so anxious about getting a job. I wonder what I can qualify for now. I should go online to check, but I don't have time. There are so many soul nurturing things I need - am slowly dying for - that I simply don't have the time for. I can barely remember who I am anymore. The past summer, I had this golden energy that lit the way down every adventure, it made life feel so delightfully easy. Where did it come from? From focusing on my Inner Child. Letting her come out and play. She was much more wise and mature than my Outer Adult. My Outer Adult is brash, harsh, demanding, stressed-out, angry, fatalistic - all these terrible negatives. My Inner Child was so happy, smart, adventurous, dedicated, optimistic. Life opened up to her, but Life hides from me. Or rather I hide from it. I feel like a completely different person sometimes, it's scary. And I remember the moments this summer in sudden bouts of euphoria when I knew the high could not last forever and it didn't. But it didn't matter because I refused to step outside The Moment. Those sunny, magical days remain in my memory like a dream too sweet to have been real, but it was real. There is very little for me to smile about these days during the next few bitter months, I'll be holed up at home every spare moment devoting myself to one project after another - on top of many others.


End excerpt.

This is me these days, which is why I find it so difficult to blog. I feel like such an ass. I don't have a part-time job to worry about and I live with my boyfriend. I don't know what I'm complaining about. I just feel so out of my element. =(