Balloon Hat

Just went to see a band called Rogue Wave from Oakland, CA. It was at the Horseshoe and the place was pretty filled up, but it didn't sell out like Wolfparade did. I can't help but think that this show was better than Wolfparade just because we didn't get to go to it. This time, we bought tickets.

The opening band was what actually made the whole night really fun. It was a local band called The Ghost is Dancing featuring a plastic tub occasionally used as a drum, a saxophone player, an accordian player, and a recorder player. You know recorders like in grade school when you're still too young to play any real instruments. It sounded very good actually, and they were extremely spirited and entertaining performers.

I ended up meeting the accordian player in the WC and she gave me the balloon hat was wearing. I later met up with one of the guitarists at the merch booth and told him I had to beat someone up for it.

On the way home, Ryan pointed out a giant white cardboard cathedral that has been erected on the CN train bridge that crosses Dufferin and Queen. Right next to the giant Val Kilmer heads. On nights like this I love Toronto.

Coffee.

Disaster. I'm about to embark on a two week schedule of non-stop work for the final stretch of the third semester, when this morning, I broke the coffee carafe for the coffee maker. There is a Coffee Time around the corner, but I'm too spoiled to drink their coffee. The closest decent coffee house is The Roastery which is a 15 minute walk away, but is not open on Sundays, and closes by 5pm on weekdays.

We're still waiting to hear back from the coffee maker manufacturer to see if they will send a replacement carafe to Canada. In the meantime, I've got a whole box of imported green tea, which is what I'm drinking right now. I have to keep telling myself that tea has just as much caffein.

Luckily, I already had a cup of coffee at the breakfast place this morning, so I have narrowly escaped the onset of caffein withdrawl for one day. But it's not the caffein I miss the most. It's what I need, but what I really miss is that warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the apartment, and the full rich taste of whatever organic blend of coffee we bought from Moon Bean with two spoons of brown sugar and just enough cream. Tear.

Eat. Sleep. Shit. Advertising.

One: Two: Three: more weeks of school. Not technically, but I have no intention of being at school after the first week of December because I hate it and I need time to focus on the Christmas party. Less than a month til the party and still no DJs! WTF! There's no one to blame but me, I haven't had time to source out local DJs. Ideally, I'd be going to every party in town to find the right one because I'm that anal, but instead I've been leaving it to production companies to sell me one because I'm that busy. =(

I have huge projects due in the following two weeks, and I'm being very picky which classes I make the 1.5 hour commute for. At least my plants are happier because I'm at home to water them every day. At the beginning of the program, the coordinator told us that we have to EAT, SLEEP, AND SHIT advertising (a phrase we normally use to mock him), however the reality is that this program forces you to EAT, SLEEP AND SHIT ADVERTISING. I'm constantly confronted with ad ideas that are so lame in retrospect I'm embarrassed to even have those thoughts.

For example, this morning this guy Peter was trying to open one of those Del Monte fruit cups without spraying himself. In my head, I was picturing a Del Monte commercial where he sprays himself and a sexy Mexican fellow comes by and licks the juice off his face. Fruity. Del Monte Fruit Cups.

WTF! That was so gay on so many levels, I don't know what's wrong with me! This is why I don't want to go into advertising because I fear the risk of one of these retarded ideas gets picked up and I have to feel responsible for releasing another unecessary, unsolicited, bad fucking piece of advertising into this world, and I don't think I could live with that.

On the flipside, I think I'll have some ads produced by next week which I'll happily put up for you all to see. =D I did a photoshoot for my bicycle campaign on Monday, was outside for 3 hours straight in 0*C weather. The pictures were great, but the lighting was very very bad. And there was no way to fake summer anymore - all the trees are bare and there's leaves on the ground. It would've been better if the pics had been taken over the summer. =(

Peace out 4 now.

Anthony Hopkins

I have crazy dreams, but they're not usually very enlightening (my mushroom trips are another story). When I was young, they used to be bloody and violent, but now they've gotten pretty boring and since school started, I tend to dream about forgotten assignments and unprepared tests.

Last night, however, my fucked up little brain decided to throw a party for me in a bright and sunny house with yellow and white walls. There was a picnic outside and everyone was eating BBQ and cake, my whole family was there! Then we went inside and suddenly we were being hunted down by Anthony Hopkins - NO not Hannibal Lecter, but Anthony Hopkins himself The Man. He chased us throughout the house that had hallways like a maze, and sometimes we were crawling through the pipes and the walls. I don't know what weapon he had, and I don't think he killed anyone, but there was definately the feeling that if he found us he'd kill us all.

Weird.

Today, I watched the Fatboy Slim video for Weapon of Choice starring the talented Christopher Walken and I really really really want to dance in a video like that. I don't know what song though - any suggestions?

Blog It!

I felt like writing again because I've made the conscious decision not to go to school tomorrow so I can finish writing my Media Brief (it's not as brief as it sounds) and study for my PR test. As mentioned, school has been put under control, it's just up to me to keep it all together. Between school and planning the Christmas party, pot's the only thing that keeps me from falling on my knees and crying.

I participated in a focus group in my research class today on drug abuse and epilepsy. I think my teacher was quite surprised at what an unapologetic junkie I actually am. But people's views on recreational drugs are so skewed. As I said during the focus group, "We all know the risks involved when using drugs, and we're all responsible for our own behaviour." I'm not going to let two college douchebags tell me that drugs are going to give me seizures when experience has shown me what my actual limits are and I think as long as we respect our limits, we'll all be just fine. Like me and booze. I know my limit for alcohol is zero, so it doesn't even tempt me to drink.

It looks like I might have to go to different strip clubs to find some decent erotic dancers for the Christmas party. I'm not complaining, but I have no idea when I'm gonna have time to do this. But hey! Someone's gotta do it! Maybe someone needs to come with me? =D

I don't know if anyone else does this, but during the day, I collect funny little things that happen in my head in a little brain folder called Blog It. But I can never remember what I put in there when it comes time to blog. That's why my posts are always so random because I keep writing because I think I have something to say, but by the end of the post, there's nothing there. =P

Aww... it's the Christmas Spirit! How cute!

The school days are tumbling rumbling by and there's only about a month left before third semester has been triumphed and the Christmas holidays begin. At the beginning of the year, I was depressed (as some of you may have noticed)... just because summer had been so adventurous and fun and I got to meet all kinds of cool people. And I don't know what it is about my program, but it has just attracted some pretty nasty girls who dress like Christina Aguilera in November, and really square pegs you know. =P Just not used to it I guess...

Not that I haven't also met some very cool people over the school year. Like yesterday, I had breakfast with a very talented photographer, Krista, who has agreed to photograph my print ads for me. I knew I was going to like her when she suggested to meet at Tequilla Bookworm because it's one of my favourite places to drink coffee and read magazines for free. We talked about my VeloCity campaign (the ads will be posted once they've been put together), and she told me about some of the projects that she's been working on. I found her online portfolio through a friend and fellow blogger Kalimba who was kind enough to dance with me at the party at Olivier's gallery. That was a fun night! And Kalimba is an excellent dancer.

Anyway, in retrospect, my early program depression was also due to my expectation that things were somehow going to be different this year in the program. That the nasty bitches would miraculously disappear, and the square pegs were going to discover their inner roundness, but no everything stayed the same. It was my fault for expecting something that wasn't going to happen. With time, I've just gotten used to the fact that few people in my program are on my wavelength and in the end it's always just going to be about vibes. It doesn't matter if someone's 18 or 60 years old, it's always going to come down to vibes.

The Christmas holidays has never been so exciting. Growing up, Christmas meant one dinner with my whole family where we eat Chinese food and give each other presents that we bought during Boxing Week last year. That is the Chinese way. However, Ryan's family goes all out by cooking a ham and a turkey and pies and cakes and cookies and generally just eating and drinking wine all night while catching up with people they only get to see once a year. Then on Boxing Day instead of kicking ass at the mall, we drive up north to spend Christmas with Ryan's dad's family where his grandfather will make some not-too-subtle hint about great-grandchildren (Ryan's the oldest grandkid). Somehow, I don't think telling him that I'm only 21 will change his attitude.

So as the days and weeks go drifting by, I just wanted to take a moment to look back on where I've gone this past semester, and what I have to look forward to in December. There's much work to do, so I'll get back to it. I hope to see most of you people over the holidays! That's another thing to look forward to.

Chinese TP

That joke about how little old Chinese women stock up on years worth of toilet paper just because it's on sale is completely true. The bedroom in the basement of my mom's house is used exclusively for toilet paper storage. She recently bought Ryan and I a "gift" of some Chinese toilet paper. She does this from time-to-time, but this she said was a really good deal. Only a dollar for twenty rolls! The basement bedroom is probably stocked to the ceiling.

But something just isn't adding up. First off, the packaging is written in Chinese and offers absolutely no English or French translation - a must for any Canadian product. This means that not only was this package imported from half-way around the world, but it was so fucking cheap that they could still flog it for one dollar. One hundred fucking cents. That's five cents a roll. Canadian. CAD.

Upon closer inspection - specifically while on the toilet yesterday, I noticed that my toilet paper was glinting at me. There are little shiney pieces of what I can only assume is tin foil in my toilet paper. There are little red and brown spots on my toilet paper. My toilet paper has the same texture and slight stretch-ability as crepe paper.

In spite of all the signs that suggest that perhaps I am using poorly recycled toilet paper from China, I wiped my ass anyway, and will continue to wipe my ass until all twenty rolls are gone because I am a potential old Chinese woman and I can't resist the five cents per roll, so all I can say is thank god I don't have hemroids. And I hope I don't get any weird ass diseases.

Two Saturday Nights in One

On Saturday night, I had one of those evenings where it feels like two separate evenings in one night.

Part I

The first half, I attended my friend Rita's birthday party. It was at this Italian restaurant on Front Street that was fancy, but still trying to do a casual Jack Astor's thing at the same time. I don't get that. Do people make restaurants like that because there are rich people out there who get tired of being in fancy places all the time, so they go to places like this when they're slumming, but they won't have to get their hands dirty? I dunno!

I've forgotten what Chinese people are like in their mid to late twenties! Maybe I was just sitting at the boring end of the table, but all these people talked about were what universities they went to, what degrees they got, and what jobs they're looking for. In fact, the only difference between Chinese people in their mid-20's and in high school is cars and the amount of disposable income they have. I felt like I was back in Scarborough again. I played the crazy white-wash person who told crass and crazy stories all night just to fill that awkward silence. Chinese people are not usually very good at mingling.

The night ended at 10:30 with a nice group picture outside of the restaurant. I decided not to be in the picture because my coat wasn't cute enough. That's not really true, my shoes sucked too. Nah, the truth is, I was embarrassed at being part of a huge group of Chinese people all lined up together, the girls hooking arms, in front of a tacky expensive Italian restaurant. I'm a snob. I suck. In my mind, the only Chinese people I'd willingly do that with is my family and the BAC (my close friends from high school) cuz it's tradition. Other than that, I find it difficult to force a smile.

So no one wanted to go out for drinks. This was disappointing. I ended up getting dropped off at Tequila Bookworm where I read a Vogue article about the woman who started Vogue China. It was awesome! I hope I get to do something so exciting one day, although I'm not sure if I'd want to live in China - even temporarily. It's so much fun to visit, but the hustle and bustle of that country can feel incessant and soul draining if you're not used to it.

Part II

When Tequila closed, I reluctantly boarded the streetcar home, and played with the idea of going into the Gladstone to see what was going on. It's Kareoke Night every Saturday! Of course, being a non-drinker, there is less incentive to walk into a bar alone. Fortunately, I bumped into my old friend Paulo smoking outside. He was having a drink with Devin, who was inside flirting (or being flirted with) by a very loud woman so Paulo and I made fun of him all night. Devin went up to sing an Elton John number, which undoubtedly only fueled this woman's affections for him because Devin has a voice like an angel.

The three of us left the bar, just as the sky collapsed from heavy rain, and we hooked arms and ran with only my tiny collapsable umbrella to shield us. We ended up going back to my place for some smokey until Ryan came home shortly after. He was surprised to find that I had relinquished my rolling duties to Paulo, who is the King. I learned how to roll under the table by observing him.

It felt so good to have my old friends meet my new boyfriend. Paulo was a very good friend of my ex-boyfriend, and Devin is actually his older brother. But it didn't feel awkward at all. It's been difficult for me to make new friends over the years, and sometimes I worry that the good friends I've made are just going to fade away with time. Friendships only last though when both people really want it, and it doesn't matter how frequently or in-frequently you speak to each other.

Speaking of friends, my dear friend Maya had her baby super prematurely, born at only one and a half pounds. I'm so worried about her... but there's nothing I can do. =(

Speaking in Tongues

I got a call the other night from the mysterious Datura. I hadn't heard from her in so long, I couldn't even recognize her voice! Of course, she had also just called after I smoked a large huminahumina and I wasn't exactly in the soundest state of mind. I did try to however, remember as much as I could the contents of our conversation so I could report it to you as she is far far far too busy and fabulous to talk to anyone right now.

So basically, she's totally lovin' the designer rug/carpet industry. She says it's comme une gallerie d'arte. French is so fucking sexy. She's been learning the ropes (and there's "sooooo" much to learn), and she's taken up a project to create a new website for them. I telt her, I sais, "Kellie, ye ken thet thair harvestin yir youth, don't ye? They're gonnae squeeze ivray last drop ay trendiness oot ay ye." And she laughed. And I didn't say it like that, I just finished re-re-re-re-re-reading Trainspotting (the problem with re-reading books is that because they're so familiar, u can read them really fast so even if you start off only flipping through it on the can, three days later, ur finished the whole thing). I reminded her about the Christmas party though, so she has no excuses not to be present. Near the end of the conversation, Khan puked everywhere so the last minute basically sounded like this: "Awwwwwwww... OHHHH!!!hhhh... Khaaaaannn... ohhh... AwwwWWwwwww!" I don't think Khan's adjusting to K's new schedule very well, no wonder though, he's just a pup wonderin where his mom's gone to. Hope he's ok and it's not a virus.

So Halloween 2005. Was it as exciting as Halloween 2004? There were definately better costumes this year. It appeared that people are much trendier in 2005 than 2004.

I was ODing Bitch: Mia Wallace (from Pulp Fiction) and Ryan was a fat biker dude.

Amanda was supposed to be a vampire lady, but her fangs didn't work out. She's donning the beautiful and lush Napolean Dynamite wig. Mark was the best pimp I've ever met.

And this is Michael and a girl whose name I can never remember, but she's an artist who's having a showing at a gallery in Hamilton that I won't be able to go to. She was a French-Canadian wrestler, and her boyfriend was a guy from Hamilton on Halloween.

Wes was the last piece of toilet paper on the roll. Looks like he's been used too.


I didn't get nearly as stoned at this party as last year, but it was still a lot of fun and the food was GREAT! I forgot my loot bag, though. =( Wonder what I'm going to be next year...