What would you want to wear in your coffin?

Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette opens on October 20. I love her beautiful, subtle, stylish films that really capture... people. She leaves enough breathing room in all her movies for the audience to think and feel and add their own unique layer of understanding to the film. It's quite a talent and I fucking hate all the old bastards who always compare her to her father. The girl has an incredible talent (and taste) and fuck anyone who tries to keep her down.

I read a really nice article about her in Vanity Fair - about how she is on set and what sort of things inspire her (like books, music, photography) and it was really inspiring. Sure she had all the advantages like her famous father and growing up in the Coppola household where she grew up with all kinds of pop-culture legends like Andy Warhol and she's like related to have of Hollywood... but lots of people grow up with those kinds of advantages and 99% of them never amount to anything noteworthy. The main message of the article was that Coppola's success is her ability to be herself and she creates her work as an extension of herself, and that is the kind of artist I want to be.

They decided to take my grandma off her medication now because they're not really doing anything for her. I just don't know how I feel about them just giving up on her - of course it's not "just giving up" - they must have been told by doctors that there's not much they can do for her and any further poking and prodding would just make her weaker and more uncomfortable. At least that's what they keep telling me (and themselves). My mom made me go to Chinatown with my aunt Josephine yesterday to find a nice shirt for them to bury my grandmother in. It was weird because my aunt josephine started trying on some of the shirts and it was just like "Whaaa?! Why are you wearing your almost-dead mother's coffin shirt???" and then I started thinking about what I should buy my mother for her coffin outfit and then it was just like "NO" and I didn't think about it anymore. But still, it was a weird day and I went home and watched The Family Stone and cried because the film was so bad.

Last time I went back to Hong Kong, I took a trip to Beijing with my dad where I bought authentic Chinese garb (a dress for me, a shirt for my mom and my then-boyfriend), but the shirt I bought my mom didn't fit. She was really pissed off - she accused me for not having even tried it on (which I didn't) and then she gave it to my aunt Josephine who is too modest to wear anything that theatrical, so the shirt has remained un-worn for 3 years now. Well, it was decided yesterday that it would be my grandma's coffin shirt. I guess it's nice that I got to (unwittingly) choose her coffin shirt, but still... how happy can I really be of something like that?