Thursday, April 17, 2008


it doesn't seem that long ago since we took this picture, but considering all the changes that's happened since that very day, we've all come a long way. what did we really know back then... about the condo market, career stress; work visas; salary negotiations; office politics; driving on the other side of the road; moving out of orangeville; love and even friendship.

the last is interesting because friendship in "adulthood" is vastly different than friendship of childhood or even university. trying to maintain friendships outside of a school setting becomes more and more difficult as life starts leading you into different directions. no matter how close you might live to one another - or how far away - doesn't necessarily determine whether the friendship survives the transitions of life.

in the past two months, i've had the incredible experience of reuniting with friends from as far back as elementary school; dinner with colleagues from the old porn days; kareoke with high school girl friends; coffee with industry mates; lunch dates to look forward to; dinner with CABBIES; the first unofficial Ultimate Book Club meeting; dinner parties with neighbourhood friends; etc.etc.etc.

it feels like spring brought with it an incredible tidal wave of familiar faces including MSN chats with my dad in China on some mornings. i wonder sometimes where we find the capacity to fill our lives with so many people when work and home demands so much from us alone. but these friends and family can draw from a bottomless well of love from me because they return the energy tenfold.

it feels so cliche to say that "life's short" - especially coming from someone who only just turned 24. but for some reason, i've always felt inexplicably old at times and not because i feel grown up... it's more like having a sentient experience of time where i can jump into a future where the pain of loss is just waiting for me. maybe everyone feels this way and doesn't want to talk about it.

there's no point in talking to it - borrowing yet another cliche "all things must end". i guess a part of me in the now is a bit outraged by the reality of it. why should things end when they are bursting with so much life, joy, beauty, love? it seems so bitterly unfair.

so i won't go on about it anymore. this is life in this very moment. we are all of us hyper-aware of this reality and what really gives me the courage to go on is the bravado of those around me. i've been fortunate to have met many individuals who rise to every occasion and i try to do the same in my own way.

i often like to think of my life as a book, or a drawing, or a piece of music... a giant snowball charging down a mountain gathering voices, thoughts, ideas, actions, creations, achievements and moments along the way. and i feel like i'm the snow that picks it all up, accepting what destiny has placed in my path as gifts rather than burdens.

i love the springtime.

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