YES!

I'm trying not to be so lazy and post more often. It's just that the first week of school has been less than interesting, and I've made some New Year's Resolutions I hope to keep:

1. Kick ass in school.

For the past three semesters, I've been dicking around, writing off assignments as too meaningless to take seriously, when really it's been my own insecurities that have kept me from achieving my potential. My greatest fear in life is that I'm not as smart or as talented as I think I am, and it's kept me from doing so many things! But no more! This year, I start anew answering to no one's expectations - not even my own! Or perhaps, ESPECIALLY not my own because I'm my worst critic (as my post-Christmas Party freak-out showed me). What the fuck do *I* know anyway???

2. Get rid of my pimples.

I've been waiting since I was 18 to "grow out" of my acne, and I'm really fucking tired of it. I'm turning 22 in March, and I'm not about to enter my mid-20's looking like a teenaged chocolate addict. I don't know how many of you remember that commercial back in the 90's for this acne medicine where this guy with crazy acne says, "Some people think I eat too many chocolate bars, or that I don't wash my face..." That line has been haunting me since I was 12 when some bastard kid called me Pizza Face. Well, I bought a start-up kit for Proactiv and while I still have great doubts, this is going to be my last and final attempt to rid myself of this affliction and maybe FINALLY my mom will be able to talk about something besides my face.

3. Stay in shape.

Pilates. Breakdancing. Belly dancing. The City Dance Corps on King St. offers all kinds of dance lessons and even though I don't really have money for it, I'm going to keep going because our bodies are the vessels for our mind and body and we have to treat them all equally well.

4. Play piano.

I've already started slacking off. It doesn't help that I only know how to play one song and I don't have any good sheet music to learn more songs from.

The list goes on and on... I'm my own on-going project. Hopefully I'll find a good job when I'm done school to help facilitate all these interests. I wish I knew what I wanted to do so I can start working towards that direction, but I still have no idea.

Anyway, to make up for my lack of posts, I'm putting up two pieces of art I've been working on, which as you know I really never do because I'm shy and you guys are too overwhelmingly more talented than me, but Sweaty Sneaker Toe sent me a beautiful e-mail that has made me feel a bit selfish for not sharing my art with you guys when you're always sharing yours with me.

This one I started a week or two ago when I saw that Sweaty got a new haircut and I saw a picture of her for the first time on her blog.




















I started the second one today and I still don't know where it's going yet. Sorry they're blurry. I don't have a scanner.

Anti-Climax

My snow bush is dead and I can't find my new copy of DUNE: The Battle of Corrin anywhere. The full thrust of winter that we felt so sure was here to stay during the holidays has withered into a miserable grey drizzle and I haven't done anything for the past two - or three days. Let me check what day it is today ... Wednesday. So I've wasted three days sitting at home feeling lathargic and eating Campbell's Soup.

Christmas was awesome as usual. I was fighting off a cold the entire four days (Christmas Eve to Boxing Day - from my mom's house to Ryan's dad's in Barrie). There's something about Christmastime that kills my immune system and my head inflates like a helium balloon. Right now, I'm fighting off a cough that even Buckley's isn't taking care of. But all the pot I'm smoking doesn't help.

There is no reason for this post-Christmas depression. I had a very relaxing New Year with Datura and we went to a bizarrely polite and boring Christmas party in Richmond Hill. Why the hell are we - city people - going to fucking Richmond Hill for NYE??? I had invitations to all kinds of big parties in the city, but for some reason couldn't find it in myself to go to any of them. It feels silly paying $45 - $70 to attend a NYE party.

I basically fucked away my prize money by treating almost everyone who came my way to one extravagant meal or another. Why do I hate money? It's almost as if I secretly believe that by immediately reinvesting any money that comes into my hands into the fun and interesting areas of my life, I will be rewarded by Karma with more money to do more of the same.

Check out my new piano.



It only has like 5 settings, but the price was right and it feels fucking amazing. I don't believe in plastic hallow keys. When I play the piano, I like to feel it. Right now, I can only play one song, but it'll take time. I still need a proper music stand and a light. These dreary January days spreads very little sunlight into the apartment.

So it looks like I'm back to being a poor boring college student again. No more party planning, no more $2,500, and no more Christmas presents.