This side of insanity,

There was an all-staff luncheon yesterday where they served us cold Chinese egg noodles (the yellow kind) with tiny pieces of chicken and one very tiny spring roll in a white paper box (very trendy in big corporations). And one big can of Coca-cola. I think Coke may be one of our clients? I don't know, but I'm drinking more coke than I have since high school. It's giving me really bad gas, but I can't fart in my cubicle because I share the space with Jeff, the other intern. Jeff and I get along because Jeff isn't done school yet which means he is not in competition with me. Yet. I'm a lot less shy here at Cossette than at First Light because I can't really afford to be shy anymore. I NEED a job after this because right now, my mommy's helping me with expenses, but I can only accept that for so long. I even joined the National Advertising Benevolent Society (NABS) today as a volunteer not necessarily because I care about all the over-worked and out-of-work art directors and copywriters out there, but mostly because I've embraced the idea of networking.

Of course, that probably gives you the impression that I'm some kind of smooth operatahhh, but I'm actually still super shy. I don't think I'll ever stop being completely shy, except maybe one day when I'm so fucking successful and important that I won't give a fuck anymore, but even then there are always people more beautiful or more successful who will make me feel like a little field mouse again.

I am reading The Art of Happiness by Dr. Howard C. Cutler and based on the teachings of the Dalai Lama. These are the four basic principles:

1.	The purpose of life is happiness.
2.	Happiness is determined more by the state of one’s mind than by one’s external conditions, circumstances, or events—at least once one’s basic survival needs are met.
3.	Happiness can be achieved through the systematic training of our hearts and minds, through reshaping our attitudes and outlook.
4.	The key to happiness is in our own hands.

I know the skeptics out wouldn't buy this for a second, but in my limited experience with these such self-help-ish books, it's up to you to take what you want from it. With The Artist's Way, I found I became a much more open and creative person, willing to take on any creative task without the usual fear and anxiety I used to. With the Art of Happiness, I'm starting to become more open with people by being able to identify with people based on what we have in common rather than focusing on what makes the other person different. This is why I'm less shy these days. For some people, meeting new people and creating new relationships is easy, but for some like me, it's not. And if I need a goddamn Dalai-Lama-approved handbook to help me, then fuck it, what have I got to lose?

To top off my spiritual highs (and lows - yes, there are still lows), I've been trying to meet up with The Grrl. We have tentative plans to be very serious together. Hopefully we will find time to hang out and I'll finally get to meet Crispin!