Bitches tryin' to cheat me!

I took Reilly to Dufflet yesterday - a very Torontonian trendy thing to do - mostly because I was craving chocolate cupcake. Unfortunately, we walked past the tiny storefront and upon arrival, two Queen Street Day-Time Urbanites (you know the kind with their stiff pastel skirts and and tiny cardigan sweater and tiny round-toed flats - basically both wearing the same outfit in different colours) were in front of me buying three birthday cakes.

True to Sex-in-the-City tradition, they wanted to have a sweet indulgence and was trying to choose a snack. One of them pointed to the cupcake and I quickly said, "Oh, that's the one I want."

OK, correct me if I'm wrong, but according to the International Covenance of Dibs, WAS THAT NOT DIBS?

Anyway, the fat bitches bought it (undoubtedly out of spite) and ate it outside on Dufflet's only outdoor table (where we ALSO wanted to sit). Reilly and I settled for a chocolate cheesecake square and a really delicious lemon cream tart, and we sat at the diner bar at the window, sitting directly behind those fat bitches while they ate my chocolate cupcake.

They weren't actually fat, but I hope that cupcake goes directly to their theighs.

Only after the fact did Reilly come up with the brilliant idea that I should have licked the cupcake. I asked the boy behind the counter if he would've kicked me out for that and he said no, it would've been "AWESOME". I totally agree, and will keep that tactic in mind for the future. Stupid fat bitches stole my cupcake!