I Heart Rock'n'Roll

Friday night, I was invited to Ryan's boss' BBQ&Kareoke Extravaganza at his house in the Beaches. It's taken me a long time to get used to being around people - especially working people with real careers; people who work together; people who talk a lot about work.

I used to describe myself as "socially retarded" - seriously, I'd tell that to random strangers just to excuse my silence. It was really lazy of me because I was obviously not afraid to go around telling people that I was socially retarded, so it was pure laziness and not fear that made me shy. It's a fucking drain always trying to remember someone's name and what they like to talk about and trying to think of something you have in common. Sometimes, you meet people who you naturally have things in common and it's great because it's like meeting a new old friend. But most people - like 90% of people I meet - are people you need to work hard at.

So my first reaction there is - What am I doing here? I don't know anyone! But I drank a sugar-free Red Bull and smoked a small joint, and next thing I knew I was singing Imagine on the kareoke machine.

Anyway, this was a great office party - partly because it was at the boss' home and there was free booze and BBQ for everyone. Ryan happens to work with some really nice and fun people. His boss had all these biker buddies - sweet old gentlemen in leather with bad-ass tattoos up and down their wrinkley arms and legs - a legacy of a dangerous past dyed into their skin. Lots of Montrealers who I believe are some of the funnest party people in the whole world. They're so funny and they dance really big and they have great rythme. They are people raised by the beat of the bongo drum and the conviction that all people should be treated equally.

They drank and drank - but everyone was at an age when they're too old to get wasted and start puking all over the place. There were torches lit out in the backyard where people chatted and chilled all evening. A video game area was set up for someone's 7-year-old son, and there was no lack of young men in their 20's keeping the kid company. Inside, down in the basement, we all kicked off our shoes and danced and sang kareoke til the early hours of the morning - so loud it was that you could hear it on the street if you opened the front door. I sang my fair share - Imagine, Sunday Morning, Bohemian Rhapsody, Welcome to the Jungle, I Love Rock'n'Roll, New York New York, etc. Kareoke has come a long way since I was little when my Chinese family would have kareoke parties. Only back then (and I'm talking about around 10 years ago), we used giant lazer discs and the only songs that were available for kareoke were oldies. That's how I know how to sing Que Sera, Diana, End of the World, Unchained Melody... All those songs remind me of my mom.

I surprised myself at what a good time I had. I was worried for a moment down in the basement when I had a sudden flash of deja vu - from a dream I had where Ryan was cheating on me. I have those dreams a lot. But the reality is what we make it, and I didn't let my paranoia get the better of me. Whew! It feels good to be sane and chemically balanced for a change...