Trendy Fucks at The Drake

The Drake Hotel - the one thing that makes Parkdale a trendy neighbourhood (if you don't count the 24-hr Dominion). Most of my friends have never been there. Wouldn't be caught dead in there. Only trendy fucks would want to pay $20 for a burger the size of a hockey puck; or $15 for 8 pieces of sushi (without even a salad or soup!); or $10 for a dish of snap peas (forget peanuts, trendy fucks like their fresh veggies!); all of which takes an hour to be served. But I do know people who go there, salesguys mostly, because it's a total shmooze fest complete with goopy hair products and pointy shoes.

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to check it out because Ryan's boss was throwing a little farewell party for his brother. Now, I'm no trendy fuck, but how do you say no to The Drake? The closest I've ever been to being inside The Drake was being in The Underground to see Lindy and Cuff the Duke. That's basically being in the basement of The Drake. How sad is that? I've also had a chai latte at the café attached to The Drake, but that was nothing to blog about.

Inside...

Everyone is outrageously goodlooking, even the ugly people have the right trendy clothes on to fit in. It's almost beautiful - but that sad kind of desperate beauty that you know won't last. At the bar you've got the gorgeous girls with their carefully controlled tans and breast revealing tops making eyes at horny guys for a free drink or two. Along the left are these huge lounge cushions and you and your trendy friends can sit on the floor there and eat sushi and drink cocktails and talk about art and culture while funky 90's dance tunes are blasted into the night sky. On the right, you can look down through glass into this white room where three guys and one girl are all dressed in white tank tops and black pants taking pictures of each other in Yoga positions with a projection screen on the wall saying trendy things like "Kurt Cobain" or "peace" or "thank you :)" I couldn't tell if they were performers or not. I couldn't even tell what they were actually trying to accomplish. I was the only person who ever looked down there because at The Drake, everyone is too cool to be a spectator. But I stood there and stared at them for a good few minutes, long enough to make myself feel uncomfortable, and hopefully in turn make them uncomfortable too.

I must admit it was a really nice patio, and there was a huge line-up to get up there. It felt good to be leaving the party at midnight when all these trendy fucks were still lining up to go where I've already been. Oh yeah! Ryan and I tried to go to the Queen Star next door for some good old fashion oily Chinese food since all we got to eat were 8 pieces of sushi that night.

It felt kind of funny though, being at The Drake instead of just walking by The Drake on my way to get take-out or rent movies. It felt kind of strange smiling at the bouncers on the way out instead of ignoring them as I pass by. It felt kind of awkward, walking down Queen St. knowing how I must have looked to the homeless people - I looked like someone who had just left The Drake. How do people deal with feeling like that all the time? I guess that's why most trendy fucks never live IN Parkdale, they just come here to get wasted and leave the sad souls on the street without a second thought.